Feb 20, 2017

There's a black dog

I've wanted to make this post for a few weeks, now. Some of you already know what's been going on in my life, but I always said if I ever had to face something like this, I'd be open about it, and that means rolling up my sleeves and saying it aloud.

Several weeks ago I began treatment for anxiety and depression.

I've come to understand that I've been battling these two monsters, in one form or another, all my life. I've become very good at keeping them hidden and fed so they don't rise up and pull me down, but I can't keep it up anymore. I've watched my energy levels drop sharply. My creative output (including this blog) has suffered greatly. I'm not happy with where I'm at in my writing career. I'm experiencing panic attacks ranging from mild-but-exhausting to ones that make me freeze up, unable to think.

I want my life back, so I've reached out for help. I'm in therapy and I'm on medication, but still trying to find a mix that won't leave me with horrible side effects.

I want to thank everyone who's been so supportive already, and make this promise; that I will look after myself and start taking care of my own needs, so that I can get my writing and social life back on track, and be the friend, husband, father, and author that I know I am. There's nothing I love more in the world than my wife, my kids, my friends, and telling stories, and I will reclaim what I've lost.

I will fight the black dog.